she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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