You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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