Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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