i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Randomize
