we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
