I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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