yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
