You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
