don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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