he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She's the barista slut.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
