sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
