Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
