I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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