Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?