actually, I'm a sock model
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
