they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
