It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
