I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize