That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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