How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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