win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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