apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
