I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
