Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
