i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize