Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
