for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize