you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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