omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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