Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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