I'm drive I can fine osifer
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
