Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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