you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
