He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
