No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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