FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
