Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
