You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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