matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
worst night to have a conscience
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he fucked my hip out of place.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize