im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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