I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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