Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
