I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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