i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
