i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
