I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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