My first STD was from a foam party
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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