are you still at the devil's house?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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