ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
