i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
