we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
