Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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