if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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