I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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