no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
