His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize