I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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