...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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