she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize