You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize