theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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