Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You can't special order awesome
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
