coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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