I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
