I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
